Agoraphobia

“He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me.” Psalm 18:19

 My son, Grayson, has some sensory processing difficulties. We are right smack dab in the middle of getting a proper diagnosis to see what all is going on, but we’ve already started some weekly therapy. One therapist described some of his issues to me as though he cannot quite “locate his body in space.” One of the techniques they use to combat this sensory confusion is to put him in small, enclosed spaces or to give him tight hugs; these exercises bring awareness to his body and connect some dots for his brain that aren’t connecting instinctively. As I reflected, I realized that in all of Grayson’s three short years, there have been many instances that have proven this to be true – beginning with his love for tight swaddling when he was a mere newborn. He likes for things to be cozy and gets overwhelmed with too much space around him.

This is a simple thought, but it got me to thinking about how I like for things to be cozy, too….not physical spaces, per se, but in other ways. I like limitations, if I’m honest; fences, boundaries, confines. Even if I fight against them, at times, I find that I’m most comfortable in my little rut. The scripture in Psalm 18:19 says that the Lord rescued me in conjunction with bringing me into a broad place. That speaks of openness to me… being in a wide space. I just can’t shake the feeling that God wants to take us into a broad, open, free place…but we are so often guilty of resisting. We want to see our walls. Yes, we complain about them, but there’s still the comfort of knowing they are there. How funny that I’m getting anxious as I type this out!! My pulse is quickening. Why? Because in a wide open place, where we see no limitations, no blocks, or barricades, we are moving into the realm of the undefined. This is doubly hard for all of the control freaks out there. Can I get an amen?

agoraphobia: an abnormal fear of being in open places

If this place that God wants to bring us to is undefined, it’s only undefined in human terms. We’re scared of what we don’t know, what we can’t see. It’s not undefined to God. His eye sees infinitely. He wants to bring us to that place in the water where we can no longer touch bottom…and He asks us to keep going. Keep going?? But I can’t touch bottom! That boundary is gone and I’m scared. Yes, keep going. I’m taking you to a place of peaceful freedom: spacious, disarming and clear. You’ll never get there with your boundaries in the way. Let go. Trust. Just go. Keep walking…one step at a time. I’m holding your hand. Trust Me when you cannot see. It’s because I delight in you that I’m taking you there…to that broad, open place. It’s fresh, it’s light, it’s free. I’ve rescued you from your limitations.

 Is God calling you to a wide, open space? Why are you holding back? Don’t be afraid, my friend. The One who calls you is Faithful and He wants to demonstrate His power and introduce you to a freedom so intense that it is like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. Start walking and don’t look back.

[This post was originally published on July 18, 2016.]